Friday, April 20, 2007

Women I Don't Want to Date (Part 3)

More women I would rather not date.

A letter to dumb chicks:

Dumb Chicks,

You are dumb. This annoys me. Go away.

Ok ok, sometimes your dumbness is entertaining (fun). I enjoy laughing (that noise: "ha ha ha" I make) at you because you are dumb, but you very quickly go from "entertaining dumb chick" to "annoying (not fun) as hell dumb chick."

Ways to tell you have crossed this threshold and should leave:

1) I am no longer laughing (no more "ha ha ha").
2) I looked annoyed (pissed, angry (I have a frown and "mean" eyes)).
3) I am making comments (speaking out loud) about how dumb you are.
4) I am completely ignoring you (I am not responding to your conversation at all (I am not talking to you)).
5) I am saying the words "go away' or "leave me alone" or "you are stupid" directly to your face (where your eyes, nose and mouth are).

I know, sometimes it is hard for you to understand what it is I am talking about. Some thoughts you might be having:

"Is he joking?"
"I am so dumb."
"He is funny."
"I should learn the alphabet someday."
"He is mean."
"Counting is really hard."
"I can't believe he just said that."
"I am really dumb."

If you think 1 or more of these things in conjunction with (and) one of the ways to tell you have gone from entertaining (fun) to annoying (not fun), I probably want our conversation (talking) to end, or if we weren't talking, I just want to you to be farther away from me (go over there). Far enough away so that I can no longer hear you is sufficient (I can't hear you if you can't hear me is good. nod in agreement).

Of course this whole post is invalid (untrue, wrong) if you are hot, like really hot, totally.

I am not a misogynist (hate women). I just value smart intelligent women (not you). And really hot ones too.

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