Jack Bauer's Women

Jack Bauer is a stud. No doubt about it. He saves the world, yells at people, takes the law into his own hands, and the ladies love him. Although I think season 5 and now 6 are weak compared to earlier seasons, I am still a fan of the show and never miss it, and I get angry when my dad calls me on Monday night at 9:20. I'm not going to write an analysis of the show, or why recent episodes/seasons don't really measure up. I'm not going to write about how awesome Jack Bauer is and how if I was gay I would want him in my bed. No. I am going to write about the women he takes down.

If you don't watch 24 this post will mean nothing to you. If you haven't seen 24 at all but plan on watching it someday I would recommend not reading this as I have written about a few key plot twists.

Teri Bauer (played by Leslie Hope) - This was a weak start to the show and he married her? Why? Look at her? I really had no hope for Jack as a force in the bedroom at the beginning of the show. I mean, clearly, he is a force in the anti-terrorism/ass kicking world, but that was not translating into him being with beautiful women. That is honestly the best picture I could find of her. What is up with her hair? And her face? Yikes. The only good thing she ever did was produce Kim Bauer with Jack, and Kim clearly received her good looks from her father. Nina did Jack a favor when he killed her. Teri Bauer - two thumbs way down.

Nina Myers (played by Sarah Clarke) - Correct me if I am wrong (Season 1 was a long time ago) but Jack cheated on Teri with Nina right? I'm going to say cheating on Teri is pretty good move, but with Nina, I'm not so sure. As my roommate likes to say "if you are going to knock, knock up." I'm still not to clear on what that means (or on half of what my roommate says for that matter), but clearly Nina is a step up from Teri albeit a small one. Nina has that desirable mannish quality about her, but she does look cute in certain lights. The fact that she was a mole only adds to her sex appeal. Nina Myers - one thumb up.

Kate Warner (played by Sarah Wynter) - This is where Jack truly hit his stride in Season 2. Kate was hot. Pretty face, nice body. The booze has worn that part of my memory away but I don't recall Jack and Kate actually hooking up, but I know there was some serious sexual tension between them. I think Jack found a winner here and should have stuck with her and retired from CTU to never return, and the series could have ended after season 4. It would make me happy knowing Jack was off with Kate making babies. Kate Warner - two thumbs up.

Audrey Raines (played by Kim Raver) - Ok ok, I have badmouthed Audrey for what feels like years. She often resembles a man, which I'm not really into. She probably looks like less of a man than Nina, but still. I gave her a generous photo. Check this out, and scroll down to see what I'm talking about. Jack can't seem to get over this chick though, so much so, that he is going to risk his life and the security of the nation in order to save her. Pretty funny last week how she is all crazy now. Well, it wasn't really funny - at all. Anyway, she can look pretty good at times. And I guess she is pretty powerful so that's cool. Audrey Raines - one and a half thumbs up.

Marilyn Bauer (played by Rena Sofer) - That picture to the left makes her look about 14 times hotter than she does on the show. On the show she is gross. All we really know is she and Jack were together once, perhaps before Teri, and then she married Jack's brother and had a kid that may or may not be Jack's son. If it is Jack's son, we know the United States will be safe for another generation if Jack can steer him in the right direction. So yeah, it wasn't very cool of Marilyn to marry Jack's brother after they broke up. Seriously, she is pretty unattractive on the show. Not a good move by Jack. Marilyn Bauer - 2 thumbs down.

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All in all it's a fairly weak lineup for Jack, except for Kate. Keep in mind though, these are only the women we see on the show. We don't see all the hot dirty sluts Jack hooks up with when the cameras aren't rolling, and there is sure to be plenty.