Eating Donuts

I am not a fat ass. First, this story took place over 2 years ago in the summer of 04' when I first started working at my current place of employment. Second, I am about 5'10'' and 175lbs on a good day. 175lbs of rock solid, 100% grade A man meat that is. Just ask me how much I bench or what my 10k time is. Yea you read that right, I said 10k, as in 10 kilometers, as in 6.2 miles. I have a trophy too - granted, it is from many years ago, and it was for my age group, but it says first place and therefore, I maintain that I'm awesome... and not a fat ass. On to the eating of donuts.

I was a new employee at the time and easily tricked into partaking in a donut eating contest with a few other coworkers. It did seem to be a good way to kill some time at work. So one day each one of us (there were four eaters in the competition) bought and express dozen at Dunkin Donuts and started eating. We set a time limit of 2-3 hours. I demoralized the competition by eating 6 donuts in the first 30 minutes and went on to coast to easy victory with 10 donuts consumed. I could have done more, but I didn't see the point when the next guy was still at 6.

Recently there has been talk about having another donut eating contest. Now, I am a little older, a little more mature (yea right) and would rather not eat all that sugary goodness. However, I have stated that if anyone can match or beat my 10 donuts I will un-retire from competitive eating and make a Jordan-esque return and eat a dozen donuts in 45 minutes (the eating equivalent to dropping 55 on the Knicks).

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Craig Ferguson, host of CBS' "The Late Late Show" got himself in the news by refusing to crack jokes about Britney Spears current epidemic of problems because he did not want to make fun of the "vulnerable." Well, good job Craig, maybe someone will watch your show.

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Remember the fab five.