Diaper Run

I have not eaten anything today nor did I sleep well last night (I was binge drinking again). These are just excuses for the lack of intelligent thought I am giving to this post (like I give intelligent thought to any of my posts, like I am capable of intelligent thought). Enjoy!

I had this idea about a year ago. It was a grand idea; the kind of idea that would make me famous. I saw myself lounging by the pool, rap music blaring, with beautiful scantily clad women bringing me food and drinks, and then refusing my advances (I have seen too many rap videos). I was going to become famous in Boston, while I was going to share the idea with my friend B so he could do the same in New York, and if he didn't want to do it, well, then I would go solo. B, since you are pretty much the only person that ever checks this blog other than me, and I am a drunk, did I ever tell you about this stupid idea? Let me know. I still think we could pull it off.

The first step was to get in really good shape. I mean marathon good shape. I would need to be able to run at high speeds for extended periods of time. No more lifting weights, I would need to be light and lean and fast (this part doesn't mesh well with my lazy lifestyle and proclivity to drink large quantities of beer). Second, buy adult diapers in mass quantities. I would probably do this online to avoid the embarrassment of going to a store. I don't even know where they sell these things, but I bet you can get them online. Third, buy various masks that would prevent people from seeing our face, but allows us to run fast and far. I think you can see where this is going (if the title of this post didn't give it away). The final step would be to be wear a diaper and mask (and running shoes) and start making daily runs through crowded public places: Faneuil Hall, Northstation, Cambridge Side Galleria, Boylston steet on a weekend night, etc. We would probably have to coordinate this with some friends and be dropped off and picked up at specific locations to allow for surprise appearances and clean getaways. Hopefully, a reputation would be built and our legend would grow. We would become the crazy, masked, diaper wearing, running men. I would see this leading to book and movie deals down the road. We all have our dreams.