That Just Happened

The funniest thing happened last night. I went out, here in Mumbai, with my coworker who shall remain nameless, and some friends I had made from my previous trip. Keep in mind that my coworker is a middle aged balding somewhat chubby man. Although he used to drink back in the day he rarely drinks now at his wife's request so when he is away from her he really wants to let loose and drink hard. We met up with some friends and went to a bar/restaurant where we had some drinks. My coworker had 3 long island iced teas with god knows how much booze in them. We didn't really eat much and we then went to a Hawaiian themed bar. I know, what else do you in Mumbai but go to a Hawaiian bar?? My coworker and I started drinking pretty strong whiskey and cokes and started tearing up the dance floor. Let me just say that I am only willing to dance when I am sufficiently intoxicated, but when I am, I am an awesome dancer. No joke. My coworker threw down some interesting moves and he certainly let loose. We probably drank anywhere between 8 and 15 of these whiskey cokes before one of my friends requested that the bartender cut him off. Me, I kept going. He was becoming very loud and obnoxious. We finally left the bar completely hammered at about 1:30 and got driven to a cab stand where we got a cab to take us back to the hotel. During the ride my coworker begins to puke all over himself and then he sticks his head out the window and pukes out the window. After he is finished he removes his shirt which is covered in puke. Let me just tell you about our hotel for a second. It is really nice. And here in India all the hotel staff are overly polite with their "good evenings" and "how are you sirs?" We get to the hotel and are walking up to the door and my drunken ass is trying to get my coworker to put his shirt on just til he gets to his room, but he intelligently explains that his shirt is covered in puke. For half a second I debated giving him my shirt because I was wearing and under shirt, as is the standard J style we all know and love. I quickly realized that would most likely destroy my shirt and decided not to offer it. We get to the door and I start to burst out laughing as he is walking into the hotel shirtless and drunk off his ass and all the hotel staff stare at him dumbfounded with his balled up puke shirt in his hand. I eagerly explain to everyone within earshot that "it's okay, he just had a few drinks." Keep in mind, there is bar/disco at the hotel and Sunday night is a big night here and there are lots of people milling about. So there is about a hundred people watching this clearly wasted middle aged shirtless balding chubby man that has puke all over himself and me right next to him loosing my shit and cracking up and rolling around on the floor at the scene of him. I try to as quickly as I can usher him to the elevator and I made sure he made it to his room. I then went to my room and passed out.

I woke up a few hours later and immediately burst out laughing at the memory of the sight of him. Still even right now I am laughing while I am writing this. It had to be one of the funniest things I had ever seen.

I of course told my boss this story over the phone today and he couldn't stop laughing.