In honor of it being May 1 (wow I am really building up this month in my mind) I am putting two posts out there...in one day. Don't expect this to ever happen again. I know, you are thanking me. I don't have much to say though. Let's see, what can I write about that will be up to my standards of being mildly entertaining (at best). I'm pretty sure you've gathered a lot of information about me. I am a 20-something drunk guy that is obsessed with his car, and yea, that's about it. I consider myself awesome, mostly because my car is awesome. I'm starting to think this two posts in 1 day is a really bad idea. So I do have a story for you about a gay guy in India.
I am going back to India May 18 - June 1 to outsource the rest of the job. I am looking forward to my impending unemployment once I get laid off. (How funny would the previous sentence be if you remove the last word "off")? Anyway I am reminded of a story from the last time I went to India, for work, last summer. My coworkers and I bailed work on a Friday and flew down to Goa for some fun in the sun and partying for the weekend. We met a couple of really cool girls down there and one day we were at their hotel in the pool playing some sort obscure version of water polo. A couple other people staying at the hotel joined us, one of them being this overweight middle-aged British guy, Mark, that had lived in Goa for two years. This guy was clearly on some loopy drugs because he didn't really make any sense at all. Anyway, in between games, he asked some of the girls we were with if any of them was my girlfriend, to which they all adamantly replied "Hell no!" or maybe they just said "No, but I wish he was, he is soooo dreamy." I prefer the latter version. Apparently, Mark wanted to be on the opposite team as mine for the next game so that he could guard/grope/feel me up. Luckily for me none of this happened, and I didn't even know he wanted this to happen until after we were done in the pool. Later that night we were meeting up with the girls and planning on going to the casino. They were going to meet us at our hotel and go from there. They came over and told us we had to wait because they had bumped into Mark at the hotel when they were leaving and he wanted to come along.. and see me. I was obviously not happy about this and considered skipping the casino altogether. I was worried Mark was going to slip me something or get me drunk and try and take advantage of me. I was so concerned about it, that my friend, C, finally let me in on the fact that Mark coming with us was a joke the girls had played on me. Well done, well done. They got me. This story reminds me of another time a gay guy in college hit on me pretty hard, and the time recently at the mall when a guy essentially picked me up (he got my number). I will save those stories for another time. Be well, friends.
Note: I've got nothing against gay guys, I just don't want to be picked up by them or hit on by them in a serious manner (jokes are welcome). Not that this happens often. It's like how I wouldn't want a really unattractive girl to hit on me either (not that this happens either).
4 comments:
So was the gay guy that hit on you in college Larry?? I completely forgot about him until I read that part!
You make a great and hilarious point about prepositions. "Off" is an important word, especially when the word "laid" is involved. But so is "on," because getting hit by a gay guy is actually much worse than the thing that happened to you.
Dave - It was Larry. Thanks for remembering. Why am I re-living this now?
B - You are a grammar wizard. Me? I'm just a regular wizard.
You write very well.
Post a Comment