Office Bathroom Etiquette (Part 3)

More rules to live by:

Again these rules only apply to office bathrooms. Do what you will at home. I could care less about the state of nastiness in your home bathroom, you sick bastard.

There was a guy once that came into the office bathroom and took off his shoes. I found this to be about to most foul thing you can do (and that is saying a lot) in there. I mean, why? I seriously don't get it. Why take off your shoes? So you are more comfortable? So you feel like you are at home? So you can catch a disease and die? Do you have a death wish? What the hell is wrong with you!? If you do have a death wish, then killing yourself in just about any other way would be preferable. What were you thinking: "hey I don't really give a shit about myself anymore so I am going to take off my shoes in the office bathroom." Dude, you are making me sick just thinking about it and reliving it. If you no longer care about yourself that is fine with me, but don't make us all sick by taking off your shoes in the bathroom.

I can see this happening at home, but at least at home you know the people using the bathroom and you know how well and how often it is cleaned. I even do this at home, where it is safe. There is less likely to be urine/used toilet paper/puddles of water/vomit on the floor at home. The office bathroom is crawling with bacteria/disease. You could probably pick up every disease/disorder known to man in the office bathroom. A lot of guys revert back to their infancy in there and shit and piss everywhere because they won't have to clean it up nor take responsibility for it because no one knows it was them. Assholes. Don't you realize this shoe-taker-offer? Don't you know what is in there? Keep your shoes on. When you get home you probably should immediately burn all the clothes you were wearing if you used the office bathroom at all that day. That might be excessive, but it wouldn't be a bad idea, and so would keeping your shoes on at all times in the office bathroom. That goes for shirts and pants too. No article of clothing should be completely removed from your body in the office bathroom except for coats. But even for coats you are better off leaving them at your cube/desk.

I need a job where I can stay at home or have my own private bathroom. This should be a new, for life, requirement for me, like how I will always have to live in a place with covered parking so Blue Steel can stay warm and dry. I like my baby happy.