Molly McBlue Movies

My friend "Molly McBlue" is going to be guest blogging on this blog with his movie reviews. I am only allowing this because he drives a sweet car and watches a lot of movies. So if you want to guest blog here, go buy a nice car or develop a skill, or if you a girl, you could sleep with me, or just show me your boobs.

I'm A Gangsta, Grandpa

Let me preface my first guest blog with a little background information. I watch a shit load of movies. I am a Blockbuster Online whore. In 18 months of being a dedicated subscriber, I've got 153 notches under my belt...so yeah, I'm pretty good. This leads me to the topic of my guest blog...movie review.

This week: Get Rich or Die Tryin’. Starring 50 Cent. False. It's Fiddy, son (and some other hard hittin gangsta ass…). I originally started writing this with only having watched the first 30 minutes. Now before you nay-sayers open your pie hole, just realize what movie we're talking about here. I was fairly certain that the first 30 minutes were no more complicated then the last hour and thirty minutes. In fact, once you get used to 50's vernacular and generally slurred speech pattern, the movie is infinitely easier to understand. But I decided to give the movie the respect it arguably deserves and I finished it.

Synopsis: I almost died tryin’ to watch this. Seriously, I need to describe it? Fine, I'll summarize...baby. Kid loses his mother, doesn’t know his father, wants to be a rapper, becomes a drug dealer, gets shot, goes to jail, gets stabbed, gets out of jail, spends some time with a pen and a pad in the lab, and puts on a concert. If this was based - even loosely - off reality, well, then sucks for him. Oh wait, this just in from Grandpa, “you’re not a gangsta, you’re a shitty actor.” This can be explained by the best line in the whole movie – and I’m definitely using that term loosely:

“The thing about being a coke dealer on the corner…it was lousy pay. And if you added up all the hours and time spent waiting around…it was like minimum wage. And if you added in the time you were likely to spend in prison…it was less than minimum wage.”

Rating: Not even a small popcorn

-Molly McBlue