Monday, July 23, 2007

The Stages of Unemployment

So I have been unemployed for a couple of weeks now or something like that. I really can't keep track of time anymore. The days just kind of melt into each other. Here are the stages I have experienced so far:

1) Pure joy. Bliss. I don't have to do shit anymore. Even my parents aren't hassling me because now I will have time to go visit them. We'll see about that. The only way to make this stage last is to develop a drug/alcohol problem which I am sort of doing, but my heart really isn't in it.. yet.

2) Planning. Let's update my resume! Let's take a class! Let's get some exercise! Let's go to the grocery store for the first time in 6 months! Most of these things never happen, but at least I thought about making them happen.

3) Boredom. I am writing this blog entry at 3:15AM. I will sleep until at least noon tomorrow if not later. I will watch shitty TV all day and try and find a friend to do something with. Boredom does help contribute to alcoholism/drug addiction which can lead right back, at least temporarily, to stage:

4) Joy! Yay! I'm a bored drug addict alcoholic insomniac with no job who is quickly depleting his savings at an alarming rate and soon will be a bum on the street!

Seriously though I am still more or less in the first two stages. My resume has been worked on, and classes and other various activities are seriously in the works. What, you ask? I'm going to take Kung-Fu, and brew my own beer, and be a big brother. Also, other possible ways to make money legally are in the works. I'm talking to you B and you, crazy hair J, let's do this shit.

Really, being unemployed is like being on summer vacation. It's pretty nice.. especially since it is summer right now.

This time of night is when I really produce awesome and depressing and awesomely depressingly blog entries.. the mixture of tiredness, insomnia, and lack of drugs and alcohol in my system really does wonders for my writing abilities.. I f-ing love it.

3 comments:

Bryan said...

This post made me cry. I am very familiar with these stages, since I have been cycling through them for, oh, going on 6 months now.

Anonymous said...

Here's an idea: While you are unemployed, go out and buy all 7 Harry Potter books and read them sequentially. That will take up a month of your time, at least. Although, I think I would be able to plow through all 7 in two weeks if I read non-stop, without sleeping or eating.

A Margarita said...

Stop! You're making me jealous. The things I would do to have 2 months of summer vacation again. I took a "sick day" today, and it was so weird to be walking around in jeans at 1 o'clock with everyone wearing a suit.

::Sigh:: Sitting on the couch, watching TV, and drinking sounds like a fabulous way to pass the summer.